Am I controlling quiz

Am I being controlling quiz is meant as a tool to help you find out if you have controlling behavior towards your partner. The test result will also give you pointers on how to fix your toxic behavior.

When you first enter into a new relationship, it’s easy to become obsessed with the other person. It feels like they’re the most interesting, fun and attractive person in the world, and that no one else could ever compete with them. So of course we try to lock them down and keep them all to ourselves as much as possible. 

But this can quickly turn into controlling behavior, which is not healthy for any relationship. Unfortunately, many people don’t realize their actions are coming off as controlling until after things have already gotten out of hand.

Am I controlling: The signs

If you're being controlling, it might be hard to see your own behavior. That's why we made this quiz to test yourself and answer truthfully about your own actions. 

All the signs are there already, you just need to step outside your own bubble and see for yourself.

You constantly check in with them about where they are and who they’re with.

If your S.O. is out with their friends and you’re constantly demanding to know where they are, what they’re doing and who they’re with, then you’re being controlling.

Casual relationships shouldn’t come with the constant interrogation. Likewise, if you check in on your partner every few minutes when they’re at home, or if you worry about their safety when they’re out, then you’re crossing the line into unhealthy territory. 

You don't want to be clingy, do you?

You make them feel guilty for hanging out with their friends.

It’s normal for someone who is in a new relationship to feel jealous when their partner spends time with their friends. It’s a sign of a healthy relationship if you want to spend as much time with your S.O. as possible and don’t want to share them with anyone else.

But if you feel the need to make your partner feel guilty for spending time with their friends, then you’re being controlling.

Your partner should feel free to hang out with their friends and do their own thing. If they don’t feel comfortable doing this, then there’s a good chance that you’re being controlling.

Rather than trying to control their actions, you should try to talk to them about your feelings.

You constantly request to see their phone or accuse them of lying when you find suspicious calls or texts.

If you want to know what your partner is doing all the time, then you need to open up a dialogue about your feelings without being accusatory.

Likewise, if you find something on their phone and automatically assume they’re lying, then you’re being controlling. Unless you have hard proof that your partner is lying to you, you should refrain from making accusations.

This is a very subtle yet controlling way of doing just that. If your partner feels like you’re constantly accusing them of lying, they may stop talking to you altogether, leaving you with no way of knowing what they’re doing.

You angrily accuse them of cheating when they don’t respond to you right away.

Everyone has bad days where they don’t respond to texts or calls. Sometimes they’re busy and can’t answer your messages, and other times they’re just not in the mood to talk. If you find yourself getting angry with your partner for not responding to you right away, then you probably have some controlling tendencies.

Your partner might be busy and don't have time to response quickly all the time. People have commitments and you need to be aware of that.

You probably have stuff to do too so keep your mind occupied with something else to do, like a hobby. 

Am I being controlling quiz: The final verdict

Being controlling in a relationship can lead to all sorts of harm, including but not limited to: distrust, resentment, deceit, guilt, shame and even physical abuse.

If you feel like you’re being controlling, there is no shame in admitting it and working to change it. The first step is to recognize the signs and then actively work to change your behavior.

Keep in mind that it takes two people to create a healthy relationship. You can do your part by recognizing your controlling tendencies and working to change them. Your partner can do their part by communicating with you and letting you know if you’re being too controlling.

Sources:
Psychology today